shWedding a few tears

The apartment I’m living in has a gym that’s just opened, and it’s free for 2 weeks so I thought I’d check it out. After walking in, I started to feel slightly uncomfortable at the woman behind the desks panic stricken face. I went over, and asked if things were alright to which she rambled at me, pointed to my bag and feet, and rambled some more. I didn’t understand her, but apparently she was telling me that I need 2 pairs of shoes. One for walking TO and FROM the gym, the other for use IN the gym so that the gym DOES NOT get dirty. WHAT. I’m still really struggling to get my head round this.

Went to my course mates wedding today. Weddings here are a lot different; they nail the ceremony in about 25 minutes, smash some pictures afterwards, and then everyone goes and has a buffet and then pretty much leaves after eating. Bish bash bosh done in 2 hours. EC. Not even enough time to get introduced to some hot babes which I was properly miffed about. The groom also had to wear makeup, which I think made him a little uncomfortable. During the ceremony I looked behind me to see pretty much all my female Asian coursemates balling their eyes out. Oh, and they got a bit camera trigger happy. Just the usual.

First hints of missing the UK came after watching the new James Bond. Pretty sure the rest of the cinema didn’t get any of the jokes/one liners as it was pretty much just me laughing throughout. Sigh, Britain…

Started a two man queue with a guy in the subway toilets. There was one toilet which was free, which he pointed for me to use, and I think he took great pleasure in my face dropping when I saw that it was a squat-bog. Not as much pleasure as an old man, just minutes later, giving me a live demonstration on ‘squat-bog technique’ (clothed, before your imaginations carry you) and laughing at my reluctance to equally perform. His technique was sublime though, the stability and the dippage he got on his squat… just simply marvellous.

(chop)sticking it out on the subway

Internet exists. Pure, sweet and pretty unreliable Wi-Fi exists. All those desperate for a Skype chat (just mum? Oh, ok then) get in touch.

Went to my Hobros ‘sports day’. The ‘sport’ part on the whole was fairly inaccurate, unless filling a bag with boxes and standing it upright is a legit sport. Another classic was the grandparents race, where watching an old man stack it whilst rolling a giant ball around a course provided particular comedic value. The ‘day’ part was spot on though, a 9 – 5 epic made more epic by a gigantic stash of food appearing where we were sitting (a very common theme). Host Dad told me (mostly through hand gestures) that it was our responsibility to finish it. Ouch.

 Had 2 drunk old men in 2 days chat to me on the subway. I think a bit of Dutch Courage prompted them into using their very limited English skills. One of them gave up and just rambled to me in Korean. The other started shouting ‘I hate Japanese People’. Properly Awkward.

Had some writing and listening tests this last week. I take pretty much every opportunity I can to write about girls in any homework or test. The latest ‘masterpieces’ were about wanting to get a girl for Christmas, doing exercise because girls like ripped guys, and learning to love shopping because all girls love shopping. There shall be some serious incredulity if these stories or not deemed worthy of full marks.

Just received the entire (probably) history of Ramyon (Korean noodle) from my host bro, including what he believes would be the nations’ ranking of each brand. Authentic Asian living. Speaking of that, my chopstick skillz are now pretty sweet. Gained numerous recognition from natives on my ‘stunningly slick stick style’, and have even used them to munch on some pizza, and roast chicken. Move over Ji Sung Park, there’s a new boy in town.

Hairpy Birthday

Asian girls love to take pictures. Mass generalisation but fairly confident that that statement is 100% accurate. For my birthday, classmates had bought me a cake (pretty emotional) which they lit with candles, sang happy birthday and then took about 15 minutes worth of photos. One even had like a 'machine gun' mode which smashed out like 100 pictures a second. Rapid.

Got a haircut the other day, an experience. Found an 'english' speaking place (apparently), of which the girl ignored most of my instructions of what I wanted, likely due to a lack of comprehension. A 'bouncer' type figure stood behind the whole time, occasionally brushing hair off my face or sticking a sponge on my head when cutting the fringe. That job has got to suck. Another employee decided to come over and watch too. Awkward. Conversation also stagnated quickly when she informed me she hadn't heard of Wales.

Just experienced Chuseok/주석 which is Korean thanksgiving. Flipping heck. Literally, pretty much all they do is eat. Even on any given meal, it is essential to have like between 6 and 10 separate little dishes, but that sum is called to be quadrupled. Probably. (Mild over estimation). Even smashed down a tinny at 10 in the morning, classy. When in Rome.

Had some good subway experiences. One old guy, before leaving the subway, came over to me to have a good stroke on my arm hair for 30 seconds. Another guy slept on my shoulder. This is life.